Bastards and Scapegoats Read online

  My chest constricted. “But?” I asked.

  Hamilton laughed. “But I’m a selfish bastard that won’t let you talk me out of the best damn feast of my life. Oh, Vera. You’d squirm all over my sheets. I’d hold you down. I’d taste every drop of you. I’d suck on your needy clit until you were grinding my face, pulling my hair and shaking all over.”

  “Fuck,” I cursed.

  “I’m going to pluck you to pieces. I’m going to chew on your thorns. I’m going to breathe in your sweet scent, clutch you in my fist and ruin you, Petal.”

  Why was that the hottest fucking thing anyone had ever said to me? “Petal, huh? You seem to really like that nickname,” I replied.

  “I’d really like to fuck you.”

  I pictured Hamilton lying on a bed with his muscular arm behind his head and his bare chest rising and falling with every breath. He was probably smirking at me, holding the phone up to his ear while waiting for me to moan into the receiver from his heated words.

  I looked back at my bedroom door, thinking of my mother and all she’d sacrificed to give me a good life. I could do this one thing. I could stop entertaining Hamilton’s advances.

  “This doesn’t have to mean anything, you know,” Hamilton continued. “It’s just two people with an insane amount of chemistry, enjoying each other’s company. You asked me earlier if I had ever ruined someone’s life,” Hamilton said, his voice soft.

  “And?”

  “And I think you and I have more in common than I realized,” he admitted. What did that mean?

  I let out an exhale. As much fun as that sounded, there was no way in hell Hamilton was worth the risk. “Good night, Hamilton,” I whispered.

  I wished I could see his face. I pictured him smiling in triumph, as if he could hear the hesitation in my voice. If I was another girl, I probably would have taken an Uber to his place and let him do all the delightfully dirty things he promised.

  But I wasn’t someone else. I was Vera Garner, the bastard daughter of a victim.

  9

  “You okay, baby?” Mom asked while looking at me over the rim of her cup. She was drinking a decaf latte that was more sugar and milk than anything else. Even with messy hair and the same pajamas from the night before, she looked beautiful. She probably could have modeled if she never had me.

  We were sitting in my oversized kitchen and catching up. Mom slept till almost noon, and it wasn’t until Joseph called her cell that she got out of bed. We ate cereal at the kitchen island and slowly processed everything that had happened the night before. “You look so tired,” she added while sweeping her eyes over my face. She was probably more exhausted than I was. She was jet-lagged from her trip to Paris and had to spend all night taking care of me. A pang of guilt rocked through me.

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night,” I replied, my cheeks turning crimson at my words as thoughts of what kept me up flooded my mind. It wasn’t Saint plaguing my mind, though it probably should have been. No. I spent most of my evening thinking about Hamilton. True to his word, he got me to stop thinking about the creepy and intrusive journalist who was now stalking me. Instead, I was picturing all the naughty things he spoke about.

  His head buried between my thighs.

  The scruff of his jaw burning my skin with the coarse movement.

  My moans filling the room. His wet tongue lapping me up.

  His filthy mouth making me come again and again and…

  I swallowed. Mom started talking, jolting me out of thoughts of Hamilton once more. “I can only imagine. This Saint person seems unhinged. What kind of person hounds a family like that?” Mom shook her head and continued speaking. “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with this. I knew things were going to be different when I married Joseph, but I had no idea the paparazzi would be so intense. The Beauregards are well-known in our community, but Jack’s not a fucking Kardashian.”

  I bit my tongue. It was only going to get worse—much worse. Joseph wanted to be a career politician. He went to Greenwich University for a double major in political science and business and was too patriotic for my tastes. His conservative platform, family business expertise, and his father’s legacy had set him up for success. Mom might have been in denial about our future, but I knew with complete certainty that this was only the tip of the iceberg. We had to prepare ourselves to be hounded the rest of our lives. Was Mom really ready to have her past put on display for the world to see? Jack might have had the court records sealed, but people talked. There were plenty of people back in Atlanta who would be happy to sell our sob story to the highest bidder. Not even the Beauregard money could get us out of that. I was surprised it hadn’t been exploited already.

  Memories of my argument with Jack made my stomach plummet. Everyone was already gossiping about my mother; it was likely to only get worse as Joseph climbed the political ladder.

  I replied, “I’m not surprised, honestly. It’s human nature to be curious about public figures. Jack is well-liked in the community, and Joseph wants to have his name on a ballot. We should honestly get used to it.” Politics felt like living in a house that was on fire. It wasn’t a matter of if the flames would scorch you, but when. The Beauregards were sitting in the kitchen while their living room was ablaze. Was this why Hamilton escaped to work offshore?

  Mom set her coffee mug down and inhaled deeply. Uh-oh. I knew that look. The corner of her mouth was pressed into a line, and she was looking at me with pity. “Spit it out. You look like you want to say something,” I told her, eyebrow raised in question.

  Mom rolled her eyes, feigning playfulness despite the heavy tension I could feel in the air. Something was up. “I have a couple of things I would like to say. First, Joseph and Jack would like to get you a personal bodyguard. Last night just further proved that things are getting intense. Joseph was recently offered a job.”

  I frowned. “What kind of job? I thought he wanted to run for Congress.”

  “That was his original plan. The President—yeah, the actual fucking President—wants to appoint Joseph as Secretary of Commerce. It hasn’t been announced yet, but it’s a really major opportunity. He would be the youngest—”

  Holy shit. I wasn’t expecting that to come out of her mouth. “Do you have to move to DC?” I snapped.

  Mom tried to remain calm, but I could tell my lack of enthusiasm was bothering her. She was probably hoping I would be excited, but my face was twisted in horror. “Should Joseph accept the position, then yes. We got the call while we were in Paris. The reason Joseph didn’t come last night is because he flew to DC so he could look at properties.”

  So, he wasn’t at the office. He was in DC? Another fucking lie. This sounded like a done deal. “So, Joseph is going to accept?”

  Mom folded her lips in and picked at her sleep shirt. “Yes.”

  “I thought you were going to move into a new house thirty minutes from campus. So, you’re just going to leave? What am I supposed to do? When are you leaving?”

  “We’re moving next week,” Mom said with a frown. “He’s formally accepting the position today. I wanted to tell you before you found out from someone else.”

  “Like you told me about the baby?” I asked sarcastically. “Or like how I had to move to this apartment by myself when we’ve been planning for college since I was three?”

  “I thought you would like the apartment! It’s better than whatever cheap dorm you would have been in without Jack’s generosity.”

  “It’s not about the apartment. It’s about all these changes happening so soon,” I pressed. “I thought my life was one thing, and now I’m having to hide from an aggressive investigative journalist, and I’m attending a school that wasn’t even on my radar until you married Joseph.” I got up from my spot at the kitchen island and walked over to her. “Mom. Are you sure this is what you want? Our entire lives are going to be plastered everywhere. This is a very public position. It was bad enough with Jack being the Governor, but�
�”

  “But nothing. I’m going to support my husband through this incredible opportunity. We’re going to raise our baby in DC, and you can come visit us whenever you want. You’re an adult now. You can’t keep clinging to me. It’s time for you to live on your own.”

  My eyes widened. I knew she was right. Most people my age left for college without a second thought. But this was more than that. How could I make sure Mom was okay if she was in DC? “It’s just a lot of change in a short amount of time,” I sputtered. “I’m not trying to be clingy. But you’re my best friend—”

  “I’m your mother, Vera. And I’ll always be your mother. But it’s time for us to grow up a little bit, baby.”

  “I can’t believe you would drop this bomb right after what happened to me last night,” I croaked. My throat was clogged with emotion.

  “Well, this is why I wanted to mention the personal bodyguard. Jack and Joseph think it’s a good idea while we are in transition. I want you to be safe. See? I’m not abandoning you.”

  It sure fucking felt like she was abandoning me. “Right,” I chirped sarcastically. “I don’t want a bodyguard, Mom. I’m fine.”

  “But you’re not fine,” Mom said. “You’re spending time with Hamilton, Vera. That in itself is a red flag. I’m not sure how I feel about you being around him. He looks at you like…like he wants to eat you up. Don’t think I didn’t notice how he was last night. Is something going on between you two? You’re about to start college, you don’t need the distraction. And Vera, I don’t think I have to tell you how irresponsible that would be. He’s technically your new uncle.”

  My heart raced. My head pounded, and for a moment the only thing I could hear was the whoosh of blood in my ears. Did she want someone to protect me, or did she want someone to report back to them about where I was? “Hamilton is the only friend I have here. I would never do that to you. I can’t believe you would even ask me that,” I cursed. “He was just being nice to me. It’s not like you’ve been around. Saint really freaked me out.”

  “I was on my honeymoon, Vera! You can’t blame me for finally being happy and in love and seeing the world. I’m sorry some psycho did that, but there wasn’t much I could do from Paris. I can’t spend every day of my life taking care of you.”

  Her words felt like a punch to the gut. “I don’t need you to take care of me,” I whispered, feeling like a small child. “That’s not what I meant. I just don’t understand why I can’t be friends with Hamilton.”

  “Because Joseph doesn’t trust him. I have to stand by my husband now, Vera.”

  “What about standing by me? Or have you forgotten?”

  “How could I ever forget!” Mom screamed, the veins in her neck bulging with anger. “I’ve spent my life standing by your side. Don’t you get it!? It’s my turn, Vera. It’s my turn to have all the things you stole from me.”

  Mom’s eyes popped open in surprise. She placed her fingers to her lips and gasped as tears streamed down her face. My emotions felt like a water hose. I reached deep in my chest and turned the valve off, praying she didn’t see me break. “Baby. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

  “It’s fine,” I replied calmly, stopping her before she could say anything else. “I’m really happy for you and Joseph. You’re right. It’s selfish of me to get in the way. I want you to go.”

  “Vera,” Mom whimpered. Tears streamed down her slender cheeks. “Vera, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

  “Yeah. You did. Please tell Jack and Joseph I don’t want a bodyguard. It’s hard enough starting at a new school, I don’t need to be followed. The police are already doing everything in their power to catch him, and we’re installing a new security system here at the apartment. I’ll stop talking to Hamilton. I don’t want you to piss off your new husband. I’m sure I can make more friends once school starts.”

  Mom set her coffee cup down and sighed. “I’m going to go,” she whispered. “Jack is throwing Joseph a party this weekend to celebrate. Will you be there? I want to see you before I leave.” Her voice was hopeful.

  “Yep,” I replied with a tight smile. “I’ll be there.” I would always be there. I would always support my mother.

  Mom gathered her purse and made her way over to the front door. With her hand lingering on the knob, she turned to look over her shoulder at me. “It’s just my turn,” she whispered. “I hope you can understand that.”

  I averted my eyes.

  Yeah. I got it.

  The moment she was gone, my cell pinged, alerting me to a text.

  Hamilton: How are you this morning?

  I angrily typed out a response without thinking before blocking his number.

  Me: Don’t text me again. This is done.

  10

  The opulent dining room Jack rented to host the celebration for Joseph was filled to the brim with power and influence. I’d seen some of these people at the wedding, but there were even more elbow-rubbing political influencers vying for Joseph’s attention. They had a few journalists scattered about, but I hadn’t seen Saint anywhere, thankfully.

  An entire week had passed since my mother said those hurtful words. I spent most of the time in my apartment, moping and getting ready for school starting next week. I wasn’t sure if I didn’t want to leave my place because I was depressed or because I was still scared to see Saint. I absolutely felt safer in my apartment. It was like the things out to hurt me couldn’t see me if I just stayed in my pajamas under my covers.

  But I couldn’t hide forever.

  “You look beautiful, Vera,” Jack said while walking up to me. I looked down at the slinky black dress I wore and frowned. I hadn’t wanted to wear the expensive Vera Wang evening gown, but mother sent a single text reminding me that I needed to look nice for the evening.

  “Thank you, Jack,” I replied with a tight smile. We hadn’t spoken since our last argument. I didn’t particularly want to talk to him now, but I knew that any animosity from me would be a direct representation of my mother. I didn’t want to make any more problems for her than I already had. “And thank you for having your personal stylist send this over,” I added while looking down at my strappy dress. Around the room, tables set with fine china, crisp white linens, and oversized floral arrangements filled the space. A string quartet played classical pieces in the corner of the room, making everything feel more elegant. The ambiance was rich with affluent touches only money could buy. It was the sort of wealth you couldn’t fake. Expensive diamonds dripped from the necks of women in evening gowns who clung to the arms of old men in perfectly tailored suits. They walked the room, scouting. Watching. Networking. Comparing. Gossiping. It felt over-the-top and exactly the sort of thing I wanted nothing to do with.

  “I’ve missed chatting with you, you know. I’ve debated on calling you this week but wasn’t sure if you’d answer. I know my words were abrupt, but I hope we can move past it. It’s important that the family shows solidarity right now. This is an exciting time for the Beauregards.” I read his meaning loud and clear. Smile. Get over it. Look pretty for the pictures. “I’m really thankful you are here, and I’m so excited for you to start school next week.” I wanted to be frigid with Jack, but instead, I let out a slow exhale and said exactly what he wanted to hear.

  “I understand why you did what you did. And I know you weren’t intentionally trying to be malicious. You were just protecting your family. I don’t know this world. I don’t know what you’ve had to do to safeguard your way of life. But I do know that we are stuck with one another. With Mom and Joseph moving to DC, you’ll be the only family I have around here.”

  “Not exactly,” a familiar voice said at my back. Jack’s eyes widened, and his mouth parted. “I’m on the rig for a couple weeks every month, but I always come back. Like an annoying gnat you can’t swat away. Right, Jack?”

  “Hamilton?” Jack stammered.

  I spun around and nearly toppled over at the sight of Hamilton in a suit. His hair
was combed to the side, and his broad shoulders looked impressive in the black jacket he wore. His bright purple tie complimented his tan skin, and his dark eyes glimmered with mischievousness.

  “Hello, Vera. You look stunning.” He swept his eyes hungrily up and down my body—with his own fucking father standing right next to me. His gaze was hot and needy. Devastatingly tormenting. Wrong. His gaze had the power to start a war within my body. I was a home for need that had nowhere to go.

  “Hamilton. You’re here. I didn’t think you would show up,” Jack said while taking a step toward his son. He didn’t even seem to care that said son was giving me bedroom eyes. Hot bedroom eyes that made me squirm.

  “Hey, Jack,” Hamilton replied, not moving his eyes from me. “I’m assuming my invitation got lost in the mail again. First the wedding, now this?”

  “I told Joseph to—”

  “Save it. We both know I’m not welcome, but you can’t very well kick me out without making a scene, now can you,” Hamilton said, his voice dark. “You’re so transparent, Jack.”

  “Don’t be silly, Hamilton. I’m happy you’re here. Hell, I invite you to dinner every single time you’re home. I’ve missed you. If your mother were here—”

  “Don’t talk about my mother,” Hamilton snapped, his hand balled up in a fist at his side. “You don’t get to talk about her. I’m here for the open bar, the free dinner, and…” Hamilton paused to look at me. “The company. It was nice talking to you, Jack. Now run back to Joseph and focus on him. Like you always do. Like you prefer to do.”

  Jack’s shoulders slumped, and for a brief moment, I almost felt bad for him. Jack stared at his son, the skin around his eyes bunched up in pain. He seemed genuinely upset that Hamilton was pushing him away. Jack might be overprotective of his family, but I sensed longing in him where Hamilton was concerned. I couldn’t tell if he wanted a relationship with his son or if he wanted him to get in line and obey the standards associated with the Beauregard name. Hamilton was rebellious and an outcast. He didn’t hide the fact that he wanted nothing to do with his family. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on what Jack wanted. My new grandfather was normally a proud man, but his spine was bent, like he was physically pained from Hamilton’s words.