Bastards and Scapegoats Read online

  “I solemnly swear not to ask you a million questions again,” she promised while holding up her pinky finger for me to see.

  “Fine,” I began. “Send over the address. What time does it start?”

  “I knew I liked you,” Jess replied. Liar. “It starts at ten.”

  “I’ll meet you there. I’m still trying to figure out the public transit situation, so I might be a little late.”

  “I’ll come get you,” Hamilton called over his shoulder.

  “That’s okay—”

  He marched up to the phone and grabbed it out of Jess’s hands. Once he was fully in the frame, I swallowed at the sight of him. God, why did he have to be so hot? Up close, I could see every detail of his perfect face. “I’ll come pick you up. See you in thirty minutes. Text Jess your address.”

  I nodded, unable to say anything because my fucking traitorous throat closed up.

  “Do I make you nervous, Petal?” he asked, picking up on my mood.

  “No.” I straightened my spine to echo my words. I didn’t know how to respond. My conversation with Jack had cut deeper than I thought. He was all about his image, and for reasons I was still learning, Hamilton was already an outcast. How would it look if I had a foolish crush on my…uncle? Saint would have a field day with that knowledge. The title made me want to gag. Not that it really mattered. Hamilton wasn’t interested in me. I just felt like I was navigating a chessboard and didn’t know the rules.

  “You feel it, don’t you?” He licked his lips, his eyes dark as he cocked his head to the side. “The chemistry between us.”

  I swallowed; my eyes widened in shock at his assessment. “Do you think we have chemistry, Hamilton?” I asked, unsure why I was hanging onto his answer like it was air and I’d been sitting under water for hours.

  “I’m choking on the tension between us, Petal. My cock’s been perpetually hard for the last three days just thinking about you,” Hamilton mocked with a smile before pulling away. “See you soon. Wear something slutty.”

  I shook my head. Hamilton gave me whiplash with his mood swings. “What are you, my pervy uncle?”

  He tipped his head back and laughed. “I’m the uncle that’s going to help you get laid and loosen up a bit. You need your pussy licked. Fuck the rose analogy. Petals are meant to be picked, Watcher.”

  My throat went dry. Something was different about Hamilton. He was more brazen today.

  “I’ll wear what I want.”

  “You tell him, girl,” Jess called.

  Hamilton hung up the phone.

  I was smoothing the threadbare fabric of my favorite band shirt when a knock on the door made me pause. I decided to wear a black denim miniskirt with combat boots and my tee tied up at the waist. The outfit showed off a sliver of my tanned, toned stomach, and my long hair fell in waves over my shoulders and down my back. Every bit of my outfit was picked with Hamilton in mind.

  I couldn’t help but obsess over his words…

  Petals are meant to be picked.

  I reached up and pressed my index finger to my bottom lip, imagining the feel of his full mouth on mine. Attraction was such a fickle thing. How could something so out of reach—so forbidden—feel so necessary? Ever since Hamilton’s gaze clashed with mine, I felt this dirty, filthy need for him. It wasn’t right, and I knew that it was risky to spend more time with him. Wanting Hamilton Beauregard was like standing outside in the middle of a lightning storm while holding a tall metal rod in your fist. There was a thrill in the risk of getting struck by lightning. Self-preservation had me wearing rubber boots but still wanting to dance through the storm.

  Mom would be disappointed in me. Something told me she wouldn’t want me fantasizing about her new husband’s younger brother. It was too scandalous. Too taboo. Then, of course, there was the issue of these feelings being unrequited. Hamilton ran hot and cold. Anything between us would be raw, passionate, and fucking temporary. I wasn’t sure the risk was worth it.

  I could do one-night stands, but I knew in my gut that Hamilton would be different. I’d had sex before, but I still allowed my mother’s words to dictate the shame I felt about doing it. Every time I fucked, I was so in my own head that I rarely came. I craved physical intimacy. Maybe it was time to stop letting my mother’s hang-ups and trauma dictate my own sexual exploration.

  But like lightning, Hamilton would ruin me.

  He knocked again, and I cleared my throat before moving to answer it.

  A light dusting of spicy cologne hit me the moment I saw him. Hamilton looked sexy, with dark jeans and the same black shirt from before. The outline of his muscles could be easily seen through the worn fabric. His dark hair was still wet, as if he’d just showered and rushed over here. The dark strands curled slightly at the ends. In his front pocket, I saw the distinct outline of a pack of cigarettes, but I’d never seen him smoke. He smelled of tobacco and mint gum.

  “You took my words to heart,” Hamilton said while looking me up and down. I felt embarrassed by his obvious perusal.

  I let out an exhale and grabbed my purse hanging on the nearby rack and put my cell phone inside of it. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I quipped. I was about to shut the door and lock it when Hamilton reached out and grabbed my hips, walking me back through the threshold of my apartment before kicking the door shut. “Wh-what are you doing?” I stammered. His hot hands pressed against my exposed skin, teasing me at the waistband of my skirt. I had to fight to keep my eyes open.

  “We should probably talk about a couple of things,” he whispered, his smirk proud and tempting.

  “Oh?” I choked out. “About what?”

  “Tonight is a date,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know exactly what my intentions are.”

  “Hamilton…we can’t. Where is this coming from?” It’s not like he’d acted interested in me leading up to this point.

  “I can’t stop thinking about how you watched me with your wide, beautiful eyes. I have a theory.”

  I gulped. “A theory?”

  “Part theory, part hypothesis. I wonder if you’ll gasp when I slide inside of you. Will your lips part? I don’t make a habit of denying myself of life’s pleasures, as you can tell. And I decided that we could have a lot of fun, Vera.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I rushed out. “This feels a little sudden.”

  “Is it though?” Hamilton asked. “Because to me, this tension between us has been building since the moment I laid eyes on you. I know you feel it, too.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  He ignored me. “You can’t wear this,” he whispered over my skin. I chewed on my lip, feeling a wave of arousal hitting me in the gut.

  “Why not?”

  He threaded his finger through my belt loop and tugged me against him. I braced my palms against his chest. “For starters, you have no business looking this fucking delicious.”

  “You think I look delicious?” I asked. I wasn’t expecting him to say that, and I could have kicked myself for being so lame and asking.

  He smirked before leaning over to hover his lips over the shell of my ear. I felt his warm tongue run along my neck. My stomach became a flurry of nerves, and he whispered again. “Yes. You do.”

  “You probably shouldn’t do that,” I whispered.

  “Do what, Petal?” Hamilton asked while reaching up to wrap his fingers around my neck.

  “This. It’s not right. Don’t kiss me,” I pleaded when his lips hovered over mine. He was just one mistake away from swallowing my lust whole. He lightly squeezed at my words, and my lips parted on a gasp. I wanted him in that moment. It would have been easy to give in—to strip naked and fuck him on every surface of the apartment his brother was paying for.

  But I didn’t.

  “As you wish,” he replied reluctantly before pulling away. “No kisses. But you really should change. I brought the motorcycle. I’m not sure you want to show the entir
e world your panties on the ride there.”

  I pulled away to look down at my skirt and inhaled. Fuck. I could choke on the tension. His motorcycle? “Who says I’m wearing panties?” I replied before instantly regretting my statement. Talk about mixed signals. What was it about Hamilton that made me so bold? Maybe I just needed to get laid. Fuck.

  Hamilton licked his lips. “You’re such a tease,” he whispered while brushing the tips of his fingers along my thigh. “I can’t kiss you, right? Is touching off the table?” I slammed my weak legs together and pressed my forehead to his chest.

  “Stop,” I whispered.

  “Stop what?” Hamilton asked while lifting higher and higher, running his thumb along my sensitive skin.

  “Stop touching me,” I said. His other arm wrapped around my waist, and he chuckled.

  “I just want to see one more thing,” he whispered before pressing at the apex of my thighs and running his hand along the now damp fabric covering me. My skirt had completely risen, and I was thankful we were in the privacy of my apartment. What would people say?

  “I want you to stop,” I reiterated in a throaty whisper.

  “Your thoughts are so fucking loud, Petal,” he pressed on before rocking his hand back and forth. I knotted my fingers in his shirt at the hot sensation. “And you’re a beautiful little liar.”

  He withdrew his hand, and the temporary insanity that seemed to take over my body whenever Hamilton touched me faded. My phone started going off, and I stepped away from him. “You’re such a fucking pervert,” I cursed while grabbing my cell from my purse. Fuck. Mom was calling again.

  “You going to answer that?” he asked teasingly.

  “No. Let’s go.” I had zero desire to talk to my mother with Hamilton in the room. Besides, I was still avoiding her.

  His brows raised. “You aren’t going to change?”

  I probably should have, but I was feeling reckless. I shook my head.

  “Alright then,” he replied before grabbing my hand and leading me back out of the apartment. I locked the door, and we made our way downstairs and to the parking lot. He kept silent as he let go of my hand and continued walking toward his parked motorcycle and mounting it. With a kick of his leg, the engine started roaring.

  I debated walking away. The night air was still warm, but a chill traveled over my skin.

  What was I doing?

  I tugged at my skirt and got on the back of his bike, holding him close so I could use his body to hide my lacy black panties from the rest of the world. Lacy, black, drenched panties. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his muscular back, breathing in the smell of him while I had an excuse to hold him close. When he pulled out of the parking lot, I almost forgot how wrong it was to want Hamilton Beauregard.

  7

  The venue was a small café just off campus. The moment I walked through the door, I was hit with the stench of pot and sweat. It wasn’t crowded, not in the slightest, but the small stage at the front of the room was overflowing with instruments and wires. It looked like a fire hazard, but no band was on stage yet. Hamilton threaded his fingers through mine. “Come on, let’s get a drink,” he said while pulling me across the warm hardwood floors toward a small bar manned by a dude wearing a crop top.

  “A bottle of Pepsi and a scotch on ice, please,” he ordered. I arched my brow, unamused that he’d ordered for me. I absolutely wasn’t going to be drinking tonight; I could barely control myself when I was sober, let alone with some alcohol in my veins. It made me think back to our conversation in his kitchen.

  “I’m way too young for you,” I murmured when the bartender slid the vintage glass bottle of Pepsi my way. I clutched it in my palm and took a long, slow sip. The carbonation bubbled down my throat.

  “That you are,” Hamilton agreed while taking his glass. “Too young. Too innocent. Too off-limits. I suppose that’s part of the appeal,” he then admitted.

  “Here I thought it was my winning personality that had you all in a tizzy,” I replied before crossing my arms over my chest, the cool bottle clutched between my thumb and index finger.

  Hamilton slammed some cash on the bar top and guided me toward a far wall with dozens of tiny paintings on it. The eclectic vibe was warm, inviting, and sensual. Soft jazz music was playing through the speakers, and it looked like Jess managed to pull off getting no more than fifteen people into the small space. I people watched for a moment while mulling over Hamilton’s words.

  I suppose that’s part of the appeal…

  I felt like a fetish, not a date.

  Not that I wanted this to be a date. Hamilton didn’t even ask me, he just assumed that this was what we were doing. He leaned over me, his whiskey breath feathering down my neck as he exhaled. “What are you thinking about?”

  “This isn’t a kink thing, right? No shame, but if you get off on the idea of fucking your younger niece, then I want no part of it.”

  The words left my mouth before I had a chance to filter them. Thank fuck I was only drinking Pepsi. “Oh,” Hamilton replied, a wicked grin on his beautiful face. “So, we’ve graduated to fucking now. Back at your apartment, you didn’t even want a kiss. And I’m pretty sure you’re against the idea of this being a date.” I opened my mouth to argue, but he placed his index finger against my lips, silently quieting my protests. “But now you’re accusing me of fetishizing our dynamic. How interesting.”

  I inhaled deeply, wishing the world would swallow me up so I wouldn’t have to see the smug expression on his stupidly perfect face. “I didn’t mean—”

  “Of course you meant it. You don’t say anything you don’t mean, do you, Vera? You’re particular about the things you say. About the things you do. The things you want.” He licked his lips and took a sip of his drink. “Tell me, Vera. Did you develop your sense of self-preservation over time, or did you inherit this fear from your mother?”

  “Don’t talk about my mother,” I snapped.

  Hamilton grinned, as if he were pleased with himself for pushing my buttons. “No,” he finally relented. “You aren’t some kink. I haven’t been jacking off to incestual videos on Pornhub while thinking of you. In fact, I don’t even consider us family. Your poor mother married my asshole brother, yeah. But it’s not like we grew up together. You’re just the beautiful woman that watched me violently fuck someone at my brother’s wedding.” I swallowed at his words, my heart racing with lust and need. “I don’t get off on knowing that you’re ten fucking years younger than me. You’re hot, Vera. I don’t need a reason to want you. It’s not a kink. It’s an attraction that could ruin us both. So, shut up and enjoy the evening before I remember that I’m not supposed to do anything that will harm our family’s precious reputation.”

  I needed to say something—anything. Hell, I wanted to lift up on my toes and slam my hungry lips to his. He was right, it was only a matter of time before shit hit the fan. At the end of the day, I made a promise to myself to never do anything that would hurt my mother. One touch could ruin us. One kiss could end our happy little family.

  Lilah Beauregard deserved better, and I had worked far too hard to let everything get fucked up over one pretty boy.

  One pretty, dangerous boy.

  One pretty, dangerous, twisted, tempting man.

  “Hamilton?” a small voice said. “Have you seen Jess?”

  I turned to look at the woman walking up to us. She had long green hair, fake lashes that looked like spider legs, and a birthmark right above her upper lip. She wore a short dress that was likely to show off her panties if she bent the wrong way, and her tiny nose was so fucking cute that I wanted to bop it with my finger. “Yeah, she was rounding up a few more people for your show and should be here any minute,” he answered her.

  This must be Jess’s girlfriend. She sighed in relief and turned her eyes to me. “Hi,” she began, her voice breathy and high-pitched. “I’m Infinity, Jess’s girlfriend.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I
replied with a smile. “I’m Vera, Hamilton’s…friend.”

  Friend was okay, right? It sounded better than being his niece. It was definitely safer than calling myself his date. Especially considering I decided fifteen seconds ago that this couldn’t be a date, regardless of his caveman declarations.

  “I’ve heard so much about you. Sorry Jess can be kind of a bitch. I don’t think she knows how to be anything but overprotective,” Infinity admitted. “Hell, my band sucks, but she threatened the owner of this shop to let us play here once a month, and drags everyone she meets to the show.”

  Hamilton stammered. “No, that’s not true. We all want to be here. You’re going to be a star,” he lied tragically.

  “Right. Keep lying, and I’ll make you come on stage and dance for one of our sets. You know Jess will make you if I ask.”

  Hamilton’s eyes widened. “I feel like there is no safe way to respond to that. So I’m going to take my niece, who is also my friend, who is also my sexy date for the evening, over to a table to sit down.”

  Infinity’s brows raised, and she quirked a smile.

  I could have punched him. “Oh, he’s just joking,” I stammered as Hamilton placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me to a table with two chairs toward the front. Once we were seated, I gave him an angry look. “Why did you say that?” I hissed. “That’s how rumors get started.”

  “Infinity won’t say anything, and I really enjoy watching you squirm. When you called yourself my friend, I knew I had to tease you about it.” Hamilton placed his palm on my upper thigh and grinned. The warmth from his touch made every nerve ending in my body tingle. Fuck. He was seriously messing with me. My libido was all out of whack.

  “Um,” I replied while shoving his hand off of me. He bit his lip and took another drink of his scotch. “When does the show start again?”

  “Another thirty minutes. So, tell me, Vera, how did your mom and Joseph meet? You didn’t always live here, right?”

  I wasn’t expecting Hamilton to ask me about her, but it seemed normal enough. He probably just wanted to know more. “We moved to a town about three hours north of here from Atlanta when I was in eighth grade. Mom wanted me to attend a better public school so that I had a better chance of getting a scholarship for college. She found a housekeeping job, and the homeowners let us stay in their converted garage. It was a small apartment, but I was able to go to a really good school. And the hours were awesome, so she also got a night job at a local restaurant that had good tips.”