Bastards and Scapegoats Read online

  “No, I just want to know if she realizes how bad this will look for her family,” Jared replied. “I’ve grown up in this world. I know what the media is like. I’ve been on the receiving end of their bias and prejudice more times than I care to count.”

  “And you think I don’t know?” Hamilton replied lazily while grabbing Little Mama’s leash. The poor pit mix looked like she was going to pee on my tile.

  “I think you don’t care,” Jared scoffed.

  “You’re probably right,” Hamilton replied. My heart sank. The world cracked open and swallowed me up. He doesn’t care? Care about what? Me? “I don’t care what the media thinks. I need to walk my dog. I’d like for you to be gone by the time I get back.” Hamilton grabbed a sweatshirt and shrugged it on before slipping on some shoes and walking over to me. With one hand on Little Mama’s leash, he grabbed the back of my head with the other and smashed his lips to mine in a possessive display of power and heat. His tongue surged past my parted mouth. His groans filled the kitchen, and as quickly as our kiss began, it ended when he tore his hot lips from mine.

  “This is so fucked,” Jared cursed.

  “Be right back, Petal,” he whispered before taking Little Mama on her morning walk.

  It wasn’t until the front door shut that Jared spoke again. “You know this won’t last, right?”

  His question rang true in my heart. “Yes,” I answered honestly. This couldn’t last. There was never any guarantee that anything ever lasted, was there? “Let’s not talk about this, okay? Give me a bagel, I’m famished.”

  Jared snorted. “I bet you are. I saw the bite marks and scratches all over him, wildcat. Jesus. This is bad. For the record, I do not support this.”

  I snatched the bag out of his hand and made my way over to the island where I pulled out a stool and sat down. “Why do you care so much? It doesn’t affect you,” I said before pulling out the everything bagel and sinking my teeth into it. It was like heaven on my tongue. Carbs were nirvana. “In fact, we still sort of barely know one another, Jared. Who I fuck has no bearing on our friendship. If you’re worried about being seen with me, then—”

  “It’s not that. I care about you, Vera. How many times do I have to say it?” he asked before sitting beside me and pulling out his breakfast. “Do you think your stepdad is going to be mad? What about your mom? Jack seems like the kind of guy to want to keep his image clean, too.”

  “They’re not going to be anything because they’re never going to find out,” I replied. “Again, why do you care?”

  “You fucked your uncle, Vera. That’s some Wattpad taboo shit. You’re an unclefucker.”

  “He’s not my real uncle!” I exclaimed with a full mouth. “And do you read fanfic on Wattpad?”

  Jared took a bite of his food. I still didn’t understand why this was such a big ordeal to him. I was the one who would have to cope with the consequences. I was the one who was risking my relationship with my mother. I was the one who would get her heart broken when the excitement wore off and Hamilton left. “It won’t last,” I whispered.

  “It won’t,” Jared agreed. “So why put yourself through this? Why risk it?” I turned on my stool to face Jared. He reached up and swiped his thumb along my bottom lip, making me blush. “Sorry. There was a crumb.”

  “Do you ever just feel an undeniable connection with someone? The chemistry is unavoidable.”

  Jared swallowed. “Yeah. I have.” The meaningful look in his eyes was filled to the brim with promise, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

  Clearing my throat, I continued before he could once again admit his feelings for me. “I’ve lived my life according to my mother’s rules and opinions. I just want this one thing.”

  Jared cleared his throat and turned his attention forward. “Right. Well, I better get going. Enjoy the rest of your bagel. If your asshole uncle hasn’t left by tonight, invite him out to Throwback Bar, okay? We can all get some drinks and try to be civil.”

  I raised my brow. “You’ll hang out with Hamilton?” I asked.

  “Only if he promises not to be a total dick. And at least that way I can make sure he’s treating you right.” Jared got off his stool and paused for a moment. “You deserve better than a whim, Vera. Better than a secret single thing.”

  I bit my lip as he let himself out. I wished I could like Jared, I really did. But I was a tragic romantic. I craved what would ruin me.

  Hamilton walked through the front door just as I finished my bagel. “Little Mama loves the dog park in your complex,” he said with a chuckle before looking at me. I must not have been hiding my feelings well because his playful expression slipped. “What’s wrong?”

  I didn’t want to be that girl. The one that demanded labels and clarification of the relationship after a single night. I knew what this was. I knew we were taking it a second at a time. The nasty unsettled feeling churning in my gut demanded to make its presence known, though. “Jared just ruined my morning glow,” I replied with a shrug and a half smile. “He called me an unclefucker.”

  “We should absolutely get you a shirt that says that,” Hamilton replied, trying to lighten the mood. “Do you have plans today?”

  “Nope. Jared invited us to Throwback Bar tonight, though. But I wasn’t sure if that was a thing we were doing,” I rushed out.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Us things. Like going places as an us, or a we, or a th-they. Plurals. Are we doing the plurals, Hamilton?” Sonofabitch, I was rambling.

  Hamilton grinned at me, like my uncomfortable behavior was amusing to him. “I have to go see a friend today for a few, but afterward, I really want to do all sorts of plural things with you, Petal.”

  My ears perked up. “You do?” I asked, my voice a squeak.

  He grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him. “I want to do us things privately. Publicly. I want to kiss you in front of Jared and see him rage. I want to put you up on this counter, spread your legs and lick your clit until your entire body shakes. I’m all for us things.” His lips found my temple, and he left a trail of heated kisses there, leading down along my jaw.

  “Let’s do the plurals then, Hamilton,” I replied before pulling at the waistband of his pants and letting him do exactly as he described.

  18

  I didn’t have time to really get ready, mostly because Hamilton and I were insatiable. We barely made it out the door, my wild hair spun up in a messy bun on top of my head and our clothes wrinkled from sitting in a pile on the floor by my bed. Hamilton invited Jess and Infinity to go out with us, and I was looking forward to seeing them again.

  “So, Jared legitimately invited us, hmm?” Hamilton asked while turning into the parking lot of the bar. He had one hand on the steering wheel and one on my upper thigh, his thumb massaging me lightly as he drove. Ever since he got here, he had to be touching me somehow. “He must be up to something.”

  “Why do I find your jealousy so sexy?” I murmured mostly to myself.

  Hamilton pulled into a spot and turned off the car. “Because you’ve never had someone fight for you before, Petal,” he whispered while leaning over the center console and kissing me on the mouth.

  A palm slamming against the hood of his car made me jump. Jess and Infinity were standing outside, both wearing identical smirks. I blushed. Jess already knew something was up between Hamilton and me, but I still felt that instinctive need to keep this thing a secret.

  We got out of the car, and Jess immediately hugged Hamilton. She was in black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knee and a bright red flannel shirt. He wore a genuine smile as she squeezed him tightly, then punched him on the arm. “Now I know why you aren’t replying to any of my texts. I invite you to breakfast at our local spot and don’t hear from you for hours.” Jess smirked at me before looking at her best friend once more. “Then, you tell me we’re going to this damn pretentious bar. I saw a man wearing a suit go inside, Hamilton. A suit!” Jess scowled for effect.<
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  Hamilton chuckled. “Don’t blame me! Vera’s boyfriend invited all of us out. You know I’m more about kickbacks at the house than overpriced beer with overpriced clientele.” I didn’t like that Hamilton was calling Jared my boyfriend. Was my friendship with him bothering Hamilton more than he let on? His possessiveness and jealousy was hot, but it seemed to run deeper.

  “I thought you dumped that dude when Hamilton got you off in the bathroom?” Jess asked.

  At that question, Infinity elbowed her girlfriend in the ribs with a huff. She was wearing jeans and a see-through flowy blouse. Luckily, Infinity changed the subject efficiently, with her ethereal voice and soft smile. “Sooo, how have you been, Vera? It’s so good to see you again!”

  I swallowed and blushed, still thrown off from Jess’s question. Hamilton wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the temple while I tried to come up with an answer. Jess and Infinity stared at the subtle display of affection, their mouths parted in shock as they watched me.

  “I’ve been really great,” I answered before looking at Hamilton. He met my stare with a heated intensity that made me waiver.

  The smoldering moment was short-lived. “Oh, girl, we are so discussing this later,” Jess interrupted with a squeal before grabbing my wrist and looping her arm through mine. Infinity grabbed my other arm, and the three of us started walking inside, Hamilton chuckling as he followed behind us. There was a line to get into the club.

  “Did you see that?” Infinity asked Jess in a whisper. “That was genuine affection.”

  “Totally genuine affection,” Jess echoed.

  “I can still hear you. And I’m capable of genuine affection, you know,” Hamilton called at my back. “Also, can I have my girl back? This is worse than when I told you I slept with our history teacher senior year. Gossipy hen.”

  Jess stopped to gag. “I still can’t believe you slept with Miss Gladde. She was engaged to the football coach! Doggy style behind the bleachers, no less.”

  I looked over my shoulder, feeling a bit out of my element as we got in line to enter the bar. Hamilton had a sheepish grin on his face. “I’d do it again. She was hot.”

  A gust of wind blew through my hair. “Not as bad as the time you fucked your nanny,” Jess added while side-eyeing me, as if trying to gauge how I’d react to their ribbing.

  “That was just embarrassing. I came after like three pumps.” Hamilton winced at the memory. I winced for a completely different reason.

  Infinity giggled before interjecting. “Don’t forget that the two of you had quite the affair,” the soft-spoken girl said while gesturing between Jess and Hamilton.

  My brows shot up. Jess rolled her eyes before speaking. “One time. One time! We were drunk, and I was curious what all the fuss was about. I had whiskey clit and didn’t even come—not for lack of trying. It only counts if you come.”

  “You and Hamilton?” I asked incredulously.

  “There was lots of alcohol involved,” she grumbled. “Never again.”

  “Oh, come on. We were great together, baby,” Hamilton purred playfully.

  “I puked on you!” Jess exclaimed, making the person in front of us in line turn to look over their shoulder.

  “You’re the only lesbian I’ve ever slept with that also puked on my dick. It was good for my ego,” Hamilton replied dryly. “I mean, it wasn’t the worst sexcapade I’ve ever had, though. It was better than those twins I once fucked in my mother’s garden.”

  I pulled away from Jess and Infinity to rub the back of my neck and look around. Where was Jared? Hamilton definitely had experience. I knew that I needed to hear an unfiltered account of Hamilton’s whoring around. Even though this entire conversation was making me uncomfortable, it helped to remind me that Hamilton wasn’t the sort of man to do forever. He was good in bed, but he wasn’t good for my heart. “Oh, I forgot about them,” Jess replied. “Didn’t one of them poke holes in the condom?”

  “I had to pay her to take Plan B,” Hamilton replied with a shiver.

  I chewed on the inside of my cheek. This was fine. I knew that Hamilton was a fuckboy. This felt like a test somehow. He’d worn a condom every time we fucked, and I had been on the pill for the last two years, but we needed to be careful. “You okay, Vera?” Infinity asked while giving her girlfriend and Hamilton a pointed stare.

  “I’m great,” I replied with a fake smile before inching up to the bouncer. Hamilton cursed softly, but I ignored it.

  “My name is Vera,” I told the bouncer when he asked for a name. Thank goodness we were here so we could stop talking about Hamilton’s sex life.

  “Ah. With Jared?” he said after typing something on his iPad.

  “That’s me.”

  “Welcome to Throwback.” He removed the velvet rope, and we filed inside. I really wanted to get tonight over with. Things were easier when we were just fucking. At least I could pretend this meant something when Hamilton was worshiping me with his mouth.

  Jess and Infinity stepped in front of us, then maneuvered through the crowd toward an empty table. This bar was definitely swankier than what I was expecting. Jess was right. Guys in suits lined the stools, and students I recognized from some of my classes were sipping martinis and gossiping in low voices. We stood out like a sore thumb.

  I scanned the room, looking for Jared, but he wasn’t here yet. Hamilton grabbed my elbow, stopping me from following after Jess and Infinity. “You’re upset,” he whispered while pulling me in for a hug. “Tell me what’s wrong, Petal.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I replied before pulling away. “You can talk about all the women you’ve fucked. You can even leave here tonight with someone if you’d like. We aren’t exclusive by any means.” I was pushing it a little far, but I needed to believe what I was saying if I was going to escape this with my heart intact. Plenty of people did casual romps. I wasn’t sure I could do this with Hamilton.

  Hamilton smirked. “So, if I were to leave with…” He scanned the room and stopped when his eyes landed on a beautiful blonde woman sitting at the bar. She had a short skirt and curled hair down to the middle of her back. Her lips were unnaturally plump, matching her large breasts. “Her,” Hamilton finished. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Have at it,” I replied, my voice harsh.

  “What if I wanted to fuck her, then come over to your house? Would you let me use you up while my skin still smells like her Chanel No. 5 perfume?”

  I raged. Cruel words tumbled out of my mouth without my consent. “I might have to kick Jared out of my bed first, but sure.”

  Hamilton scowled. “Good to know we’re both on the same page then.”

  “Right? Jess told me what to expect going into this.”

  “She did, huh?” Hamilton asked. “What exactly did she tell you?”

  I looked over at the table where Jess and Infinity were sitting and staring at us. “She just said you’re a whore, and I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”

  My insecurities were a sharp shovel digging me a hole. Deeper and deeper. “Oh, I’m a whore, sweetheart,” Hamilton whispered before grabbing my hips and jerking me forward. “I like to fuck. Hard. Raw. I’d bend you over one of the tables in front of everyone and not think twice about it.” My breath hitched at his words. I could feel his hard length pressing against me. “But right now, I’m only a whore for you, okay?”

  Hamilton chewed on his lip, as if debating what else to say. “Jess likes you. She’s also the most opinionated person I know. Jess speaks her mind, and she doesn’t know what to make of this, because she’s never seen me like this. She’s not me, though. You worried about me fucking other girls while we’re doing this plural thing, you talk to me about it, okay? Don’t end us before we get our fill.

  “Jess likes to tease me, but that’s not the whole truth. Miss Gladde? She was in an abusive relationship. I helped her escape. I saw the bruises and walked in on Coach slapping her across the face. I helped convince her
to leave and got my dad to find her a job at a boarding school overseas.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting Hamilton to say that. “And in the interest of transparency, I was in love with Jess when we were teens. It was a drunk pity fuck because she knew she’d never love me that way.” My brows shot up, a million questions filling my mind at once. “I don’t love her anymore—at least not like that,” Hamilton added. “And the twins? That was just fun. My nanny was a pedophile. We laugh about it because the truth isn’t nearly as fun. I use humor to cope, I suppose.”

  “Oh,” I replied because I didn’t know what else to say.

  “If you want me to write up a list of all the people I’ve fucked, I can. But you should know that none of them compare to you. I’m not spitting bullshit to make you feel good. It’s terrifying, Petal. I want you. Only you. For right now, have faith in that, okay? I won’t go fucking some cheap looking blond if you promise to never joke about Jared being in your bed again. I don’t trust him. Something is off about that guy. I’m putting up with this because I like making you happy.”

  I looked over at Jess and Infinity. They were giving us quizzical looks. “Okay,” I replied. Hamilton smiled and kissed me on the mouth before wrapping his hand around my wrist and dragging me toward the table.

  When we sat down, Hamilton scooted my stool as close to his as possible, and he put his arm around the back of my chair. I felt wired and weirded out. I was still consumed with thoughts of Jess and Hamilton.

  Hamilton cleared his throat, then grabbed my hand to kiss it. Jess stared at the move. She and Infinity had already ordered drinks and were sipping on them while staring at us. “So, is this serious?” Jess asked while nodding at the two of us. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief.

  “Very,” Hamilton replied easily.

  “How serious?” Jess asked. “I thought this was—”

  “Sycamore Tree, Jess,” Hamilton replied gruffly. Was he embarrassed? What did that even mean?