Bastards and Scapegoats Read online

  “Who hurt you? Who made you feel like an obligation? Every five seconds, you’re pushing me away. Is it him? Is it your uncle?”

  “N-no. You’re misunderstanding me—”

  “You want me to go see them,” he said, his teeth clenched in anger. “You know what? I’m going to have lunch with one of my other friends. Give you some space. I don’t understand it…”

  He ran a hand through his hair and stared at me, his eyes lingering on my mouth for a slow, uncomfortable moment. “Jared? I’m sorry, okay. I was just—”

  “Talk to you later, Vera,” he snapped before spinning on his heels and stalking away. Fuck. I should have felt bad. I should have felt sad that I’d hurt him, but all I could do was breathe a sigh of relief. I was actually looking forward to a day alone, and that said a lot about how I felt about Jared. I needed to be firmer about setting boundaries.

  I continued my trek to the dining hall while smiling to myself.

  “I was wondering when you’d ditch him. He’s a clingy fucker, yeah?” My blood turned cold. That voice. I knew that voice.

  Saint.

  “What are you doing here?” I choked out while taking a step back. I’d gotten too comfortable. Saint hadn’t bothered me these last couple of weeks, so I’d gotten complacent. He was standing by the door of the dining hall, his hair slicked back and his eyes raking up and down my body. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a loose button-down Hawaiian shirt.

  “I was hoping to get a comment about the latest headlines involving your stepfather and mother?” Saint asked while producing his phone. I saw him hit record for a video, and I took another step back. Students walked past me, not seeming to notice or care that Saint was stalking closer and closer.

  “What news? I’m confused,” I stammered while reaching for my phone.

  “Oh! You haven’t heard yet. Your mother lied about her pregnancy. I sold the story last night. Seems she faked the doctor appointments, the ultrasounds, everything.” No. Certainly he was wrong. Mom wouldn’t have done that.

  “You’re lying,” I whispered.

  “Nope. That would be your mother. My source is legit. Her doctor? Not so much. Had his license revoked years ago. She’s a fraud. It’s quite the scandal. I think Joseph might leave her. Do you think your grandfather will still pay for your school? Sorry, I’m tossing a lot at you, but I’m curious.”

  I started breathing heavily. Saint stalked closer. My thudding pulse pounded as my phone started to ring. “You need to leave. I got a protective order against you.”

  Saint tipped his head back and laughed. “I think you should get a protective order against Joseph and Jack. They’re going to be so mad, don’t you think? I mean, it’s kind of cliché. The poor waitress seduces the politician. Pretends to get knocked up. The story practically writes itself. I mean, seriously, it’s beautiful.”

  My phone stopped ringing. My throat was closing. Why was he so determined to ruin my family? “You don’t look so good, Vera. Do you need to sit? I can wait for your comment.”

  I looked around me. Some students were starting to stare. I reached for my phone. Two missed calls from Mom. One from Hamilton. “Please leave,” I pleaded.

  “Please don’t call the cops. It’s so tedious. Don’t you think you have bigger things to worry about, Vera?”

  The way Saint said my name made me feel like snakes were crawling over my skin. I felt like I was going to puke. “Help,” I choked out. The panic I felt was tangible. My throat was closing up, and I couldn’t breathe.

  “Did you know she was lying? It’s no secret you couldn’t have gotten into this university without the Beauregard help. You and your mom are close, right? I mean, you had to have known.”

  “I didn’t. I never—”

  “Back the fuck off,” Jared yelled before surging forward. He put both hands on Saint’s chest and shoved him backward, sending Saint to the ground with a thud.

  “That’s assault, buddy,” Saint growled while helping himself up.

  “You’re fucking with my girl, dipshit. Get the fuck out of here. Now.”

  Saint smiled and dusted off his hands before cocking his head to the side. “You sure are protective. I didn’t realize you had a bodyguard.” Saint looked Jared up and down, his thin lips pressed into an angry line. “I’ll leave you be. I think I have enough information for my follow-up interview. I hope you don’t get too comfortable here, Vera.”

  I continued to hyperventilate as Jared wrapped me in his arms. What the fuck just happened? “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

  “I need to call my mom,” I murmured. My anxiety was so bad I felt like I was going to pass out.

  “You can’t do anything until you sit down and calm your breathing. I’m grabbing us an Uber. I don’t want you walking like this.”

  Jared guided me to a nearby bench, but I was on full alert, worried Saint would appear out of nowhere again and antagonize me. Jared rubbed my back. “You’re going to be okay. I’m here. He can’t hurt you.”

  “How did you know to come see me?” I asked in a shaky voice.

  “I felt bad for storming off. I saw that guy bothering you and ran over. I’m so sorry, Vera. I should have never left.”

  “I really need to call my mom,” I whispered again. Faked a pregnancy? How? Darkness crept around my vision. I felt like I couldn’t get a full breath. Heaving in and out, I watched as Jared stared at me, concern in his gaze. “Can I call her? I really. I really need to call…”

  15

  I grabbed the cup of tea in front of me with shaky hands. I needed to figure out why Saint was so obsessed with my family. Today, he’d taken things too far. This wasn’t just investigative journalism as he so eloquently put it. Saint had a vendetta, and I was determined to figure out what it was.

  After taking a slow sip of the calming chamomile, I called my mother for what felt like the fiftieth time. I expected it to go straight to voicemail like it had before. After reading the scathing report of her faked pregnancy, I couldn’t even blame her for wanting to hide from the world. Saint didn’t hold back any punches. He dug deep into our family, picking at our poverty like it was an old scab to make us look like a duo of gold diggers. He even played up my genius, making it sound like I was the brains behind her stupid plan, and she was the hussy executing it.

  “Hello?” Mom’s worn voice answered.

  “Mom,” I exclaimed. “What is going on? Why are they lying about you in the papers?” She let out a huff of air. Time stretched. My chest squeezed with every second that she didn’t respond. “They are lying, right?” I asked.

  “It’s not a lie, baby. I’m not pregnant.”

  I nearly dropped the phone from shock. “What?” I asked, certain I hadn’t heard her correctly.

  “I had a scare. I was a month late, and I told Joseph. He proposed the next day, and I couldn’t say no. This was our chance, baby. Our chance to finally be taken care of. I got my fucking period a week later. Of course, when I want to be pregnant, the world has to take a shit on my plans.”

  I ignored her statement, though it felt like she’d stabbed me in the chest. “So, you’ve been lying all this time?” I asked in disbelief. “I-I saw the test, Mom. In the bathroom.”

  “I bought it off eBay. I took them regularly to throw Joseph off. I told him I just liked checking because I was scared to lose the baby. I then left them in places he would see so he didn’t question it.”

  Diabolical. “What about your doctor?” I asked.

  “I found a guy still practicing that had his license revoked. I threatened to tell the board if he didn’t help me. It was easy enough.”

  “Fuck, Mom. You did all of this? I don’t get it. Why?”

  Mom snorted. “Do you honestly think that a man like Joseph would marry a woman like me without reason? I’m the girl you fuck for fun, not the girl you marry. I barely graduated high school with my GED. I saw an opportunity, and I went for it. I love him, baby, I do. But he needed an ex
tra push to be with me. When we met, our chemistry was off the charts. It wasn’t hard to help him forget a condom.”

  “What did Joseph say?”

  Mom choked out a muffled sob, and my heart squeezed. This was such a stupid idea, but I still felt sorry for her. Why would she go to such lengths? Did she honestly love Joseph so much that she was afraid to lose him, or was it something else? “He’s mad, but he thinks we should do a press release stating I had a miscarriage. He wants to blame the paper for being insensitive during this difficult time. He just started this job, you know? The timing couldn’t be worse.”

  I twisted my face into a scowl. Was she seriously just going to lie to everyone? I guess she didn’t have a choice, not if they both wanted to save face, but what did this mean for their marriage?

  “Mom. Are you okay?”

  “Joseph is mad, but he will get over it. We’re married. He can’t leave me,” she said softly, her voice distant. “It would look bad if he left me. Vera, we have to do good. We can’t give him any more reason to distrust us, okay? I’m serious. Are you still talking to Hamilton?”

  I blinked twice. “You can’t be serious right now. You lied about the baby, and you want to talk about my behavior?”

  “I did this for you, Vera! How else were we going to pay for your schooling, huh?” I couldn’t believe her right now. She was turning this on me? I had school covered. I busted my ass to get a scholarship. I would have had a full ride to any public school had Jack not insisted I attend his alma mater.

  “I could have gotten a scholarship,” I countered.

  “But you didn’t. You got into the top Ivy League school in the country. You’re living in a nice apartment—nicer than anything we ever had. You’re just as deep in this as I am.”

  “But I didn’t lie!” I yelled.

  “But you exist, Vera! You fucking exist, and I’m not going to let you ruin this for me. The pregnancy might be a sham, but I will fight tooth and nail to save this marriage. Right now, Joseph is at some strip club fucking his way through every hot piece of ass he can find. And I’m going to keep my mouth shut like a good little wife. You’re going to be a good student and stay out of trouble. And we’re both going to fix this.”

  Hot tears sank down my cheeks. “I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask to exist. I didn’t ask for you to lie to Joseph. I was going to do it, Mom. I had been applying for scholarships, I didn’t want to go to Greenwich University. I didn’t want this fucking apartment. And I sure as fuck didn’t ask to be a constant reminder of the trauma you endured. I love you, Mom, but I can’t feel guilty for the rest of my life because you feel like I’m the reason you can’t have a happily ever after. You ruined things with Joseph by lying—not me.”

  “I swear to God, Vera, do not ruin this. You read the article. People already think we planned this together. They’re calling you the brains of this operation. If I hear you’re talking to Hamilton again—”

  “You’ll what? What will you do?”

  “If I’m going down, I’m dragging you down with me. You can forget college. And good luck finding a scholarship after getting kicked out of Greenwich.”

  I swallowed and lifted my chin, staring at the blank wall in front of me. “Well, then I guess we’d be even then. I ruined your future, you’ll ruin mine.”

  Mom took a steadying breath. “Vera. I know you’re upset. We both are. Let’s just calm down. Think rationally about this. You love school, don’t you? Greenwich is an amazing university. I did this for us, baby. I did this because being a Beauregard comes with a lot of benefits. Think about how good our life could be if we just fixed this. How good my life could be. For the first time in eighteen years, I don’t have to work three jobs. Joseph is talking about me getting my degree online. I could finally do all the things we talked about, Vera. I’m sorry I took it out on you, but I just want this so bad.”

  “Even if you don’t love him?” I asked. “Even if he cheats on you?” I had to know.

  “He’s hurting right now but, baby, I love him so much. I know he loves me too. He just needed a little shove in the right direction. I don’t mean to make you upset. You’ve always been my good girl. Always did the right thing. I just need you to do that again for me, baby. For us. I don’t think I could handle losing the love of my life. I messed up, I did. But I know we can fix this.”

  I let out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll do whatever I can,” I choked out, though the words pained me. It didn’t feel authentic to my true needs. I trusted my mom to be honest about her feelings for Joseph. I wanted their marriage to work because he genuinely seemed to make her happy. She was misguided, but…

  “Oh thank you, baby. Maybe I’ll come and visit soon, yeah?”

  “Okay,” I replied. “That would be great.”

  Mom went on to ramble for a bit more, talking about her new house as if we hadn’t just had a huge fight. As if she hadn’t just asked me to compromise my morals and happiness for hers. As if she hadn’t just broken my heart—again.

  “I love you, baby,” she cooed.

  “Love you too.”

  I hung up the phone and tossed it on the couch cushion beside me before cradling my head in my hands. How could she possibly do this? Why? Maybe I needed to drop out now and find a new place to live. I could still apply for scholarships. It might have been too late to switch now, but if I applied now, then maybe next semester I could go somewhere else. I needed to prepare for the worst. I couldn’t rely on the Beauregards’ generosity. Especially since Mom lied.

  My phone started ringing, and I half expected to see my mom’s name on the screen, but instead, it was Hamilton. I’d never called him back earlier.

  “Hello?” I croaked.

  “Are you okay? I heard about the article, and my phone has been ringing nonstop for comment.”

  I tried to be strong. I really did. “Hamilton?”

  “Yeah, beautiful. Talk to me.”

  “You don’t think I lied, do you? You don’t think I planned this with my mother…” My voice trailed off as I became overwhelmed with emotion. It suddenly occurred to me that Jack was right all along. He was right to look into my mother’s past and question her motives. It made me sick to my stomach to think about.

  “I don’t think you have a fucking malicious bone in your body. Don’t cry. I don’t do good with the emotion shit.”

  I started crying harder. Fuck, what was wrong with me? And why was I leaning on Hamilton? “When are you coming home?” I asked before quickly correcting myself. “Um. Little Mama misses you.”

  I could hear his smile through his voice. “Oh, she does, does she?”

  “Yeah. I suppose I wouldn’t mind seeing you either.”

  “Two more days. You think Little Mama can handle two more days?”

  I sniffled. “Yeah. I think so. I can’t believe Saint came to campus and hounded me. I’m really freaked out.”

  “Wait,” Hamilton growled. “What? He came to your school?”

  I clutched my phone. “Yeah. He just showed up and started asking me questions. He’s so gross. Jared scared him off, but—”

  “What did he ask you?”

  Hamilton’s abrupt question caught me off guard. “He asked if I knew,” I replied with a sigh. “He said a lot of shit.”

  “Can you remember anything specific?” Hamilton asked.

  “No. It was like he just wanted to taunt me.” I listened to the sound of ruffling on the other side of the phone. “Hamilton?” I asked.

  “I’m coming home. Do not leave your apartment unless you have Little Mama, Jess, or—fuck—that asshole Jared with you. Okay? I don’t like that this bastard is hounding you. What about Joseph or Jack? Have they called? What are they doing about Saint?”

  “I think they’re too busy dealing with my mom’s fake pregnancy. Hell, I’m sure Jack is going to call any minute and evict me from the apartment.” My stomach dropped. I knew all of this was too good to be true. “Shit. Where am I going to stay?” M
ore tears started streaming down my cheek.

  “Jack is not going to kick you out. I think he actually likes you in his own weird egomaniac way. You’re smart and ambitious. He lives for that shit. And if he does, Jess and I both have perfectly good couches for you to sleep on, unless of course you want to sleep in my bed. Actually, that sounds preferrable.” I started laughing, even though I didn’t feel amused. “Your door is locked, right? Is Jared with you?”

  “I sent him home,” I replied while getting up to check my door again. I’d already made sure it was locked three times since coming home. I was thankful I had Little Mama here with me. “We kind of got into a fight before all of this, and I just needed some space.”

  “Shit, Petal. You’ve had a terrible day.”

  “Yeah. Combined with my mother threatening my tuition if I fuck everything up for her by spending time with you, it’s been a doozy.”

  “She said that?” Hamilton asked, his voice deep and angry.

  “Yep. Her marriage is hanging by a thread.”

  “I’m calling my supervisor. Lock up. Don’t leave unless someone is with you, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

  “Hamilton,” I breathed before unlocking and locking the door again. “You honestly don’t have to—”

  “Shut up or I’ll bend you over my knee and spank your ass when I get home. You’re alone. Your mom is a total cunt. You’ve had a shitty day, and I don’t think you’ve ever had anyone that genuinely has taken care of you in your entire goddamn life, Vera. And if I’m being honest, I’ve never been the person someone called. Let me do this, okay? I’m freaking the fuck out right now. I don’t like that you’re scared. I don’t like that Jared was the one to save the day today. I don’t like feeling helpless. I care, okay? I care about you, and it’s twisting me up inside, so don’t argue. Just unlock the door when I show up, and let me hold you.”

  My mouth popped open in shock. “Okay,” I whispered. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “See you soon, Petal.”

  16